Stupidest Product of the Year (and it’s only January 3rd)

On the way into work this morning, I was listening to Marc Maron interview Artie Lange. One of the things I love about Maron is the way he hawks his sponsors like stamps.com and Adam and Eve in fine old time radio style. You’re rooting for him to pull it off but you know the only reason he’s doing it is to keep his show on the air. So there is something completely insincere about the sincerity.

This morning Maron was pushing a new brand: Nature Box. As he dutifully recited the product spiel, my mind was furiously processing the absurdity of the entire proposition. Here are some of his other sponsors. Stamps.com saves me time. Adam and Eve helps me have more fun in bed. Nature Box? An anonymous company with no credentials delivers a box of generically healthy snacks to my house every month. Mmm. Where do I begin?

Yes, there are some naming issues here. Words like “nature” and “natural” don’t have the appeal they used to. When you add the word box, you just further commoditize it. Why would I want to put nature in a box? How about leaving it outside where it can get some sun? The premise of this company is that they can help couch potatoes eat better without changing their eating habits. If I somehow eat healthier snacks, I will discover “a better me.” Sorry, healthy snacks is an enormous category that has been around for quite a while. Nature Box just takes that proposition to lowest common denominator status.

Nature Box is a brand based on the premise that navigating the snack aisles of your local supermarket is hard–like starting your own farm.  Actually it’s as easy as walking down the aisle and picking up Kettle Brand Bakes potato chips instead of the regular ones.  In your most snack-crazed state would you ever need “snack experts to send you nutritionist-approved snacks that taste great?” I don’t think so. But maybe you’re missing something. Fortunately, Nature Box puts its money where its mouth is. They will “happily issue a refund if you’re not 100% snackisfied.”