The Beatles don’t sing Bon Jovi

by Mars Riley

All of us want to be rock stars. This is a proven fact. If you were born between 1956 and 2005, you have stood in front of the mirror, air guitar in hand, imagining yourself in front of an enraptured crowd. Maybe you were yourself, but just as likely you were Jimi Hendrix shredding through Purple Haze: your body moving like his, fingers down-bending strings, your mouth agape.

Then again, maybe that was just me.

But I don’t think so. The success of video games like Guitar Hero and Rock Band prove that I was not alone. The games are designed to capture the thrill of performing rock & roll for the people without the talent to do so— in other words: most of us. We are also allowed to be many of the rock stars themselves. The games have avatars (graphic people that represent the players) which look like the actual performers. If you want to be Jimi Hendrix, Sting, Ozzy Osbourne, or Ted Nugent, you can.

From a branding perspective this is an excellent way for the rock star to connect with his or her audience. The fans get to identify with the performer directly through the game by ‘playing’ the artist’s music. This offers a carnal connection to the music that beats magazines, television and other media where your favorite bands show up. Unless you enter the brain of John Malkovich through a portal on the 7 ½ floor, this is the only way to actually be your favorite star.

But what if the opposite happens? Instead of identifying, the fan sees the rock star presented in an offensive way. This is what happens in the new Guitar Hero 5. As a player, you can make Kurt Cobain and Johnny Cash do silly dances, rap, and worst of all, sing Bon Jovi songs.

Normally, this is not what happens. In most games the avatar can only perform the songs the rock star made famous. So why did Guitar Hero allow this to happen? Well, so far they are keeping mum. Is there a reason that Kurt Cobain is selling out postmortem by singing “You Give Love a Bad Name”? Why would any Johnny Cash fan want to see him sing Coldplay? I know that bands do covers, but this seems like a bit of a stretch, especially when Cash and Cobain are six feet under and can’t object. Will any rock stars sign on for future games if they know they might end up having a digital version of themselves singing teen pop? No one likes to look foolish, not even rock stars.

And why would Courtney Love and Dave Grohl allow this to be done to Kurt Cobain? They have always been protective of his legacy in the past. In fact, this is the first time Smells Like Teen Spirit has been licensed for a non-Nirvana project. I noticed the Foo Fighters are scheduled to be on an upcoming Guitar Hero game. Will players be able to make Dave Grohl rap like Flava Flav too?

The Beatles: Rock Band seems to have done it right. Not only does the game look great, but the band is treated like the rock stars they are. You are not able to mess with John, Paul, George and Ringo, instead you aspire to be them. After all, they are the Beatles!

And the Beatles don’t sing Bon Jovi. Ever.