New name for PSYOPS messes with your head

By Jeff Racheff

America’s mind warriors are facing a brain-bending name change.

The U.S. Department of Defense announced last month it is considering swapping PSYOPS, the name for the military branch in charge of  psychological warfare, for MISO (Military Intelligence Services and Operation) after concerns the former name carries negative connotations.

Senior officials in the Pentagon believe PSYOPS is too wrapped up in ideas of shadowy mind-control operations, and that the majority of actual PSYOPS activities are much more mundane. In other words, the agency claims it is not nearly as cool as it sounds.  However, others (including members of the organization itself) insist it is cool. They believe the PSYOPS name carries an irreplaceable intimidation factor, and changing it to MISO, a delightfully mild soup, doesn’t exactly carry on that tradition.

Psychological warfare is pretty much what it sounds like — the intentional use of propaganda to influence the thoughts, feelings and emotions of hostile groups. More broadly, it consists of any activity employed to alter the behavior of the enemy… without the enemy actually knowing it. While this usually consists of activities like handing out newspapers with alternative reporting or air-dropping leaflets that instruct on how to surrender to American troops, popular belief is that PSYOPS soldiers are actually trained in telekinesis and Jedi Mind Tricks, and that they regularly stage coups using memory wipes, psychic brain blasts and a rare breed of epic reverse psychology.

But according to the government, that’s not what really goes on. Hence the rebranding.

Defense brass say this will be a “terminological change, not a substantive one.” But, as in most issues of renaming and rebranding, any change is inherently substantive. People know and fear PSYOPS because of the reputation it has built around its name. And though they may not change their modus operandi, the agency loses something by switching to a decidedly wimpier name.

Of course, the name-change is itself a form of psychological warfare. The idea behind PSYOPS is to create and perpetuate positive feelings about the United States and its objectives, and a renaming campaign is a part of the Defense Department’s attempt to show citizens that U.S. psychological warfare is a lot more wholesome than, um, regular old psychological warfare. So the overt transformation from PSYOPS to MISO is just another volley in the war on (mis)conception, like driving terrorists crazy with Bon Jovi songs as loud as sonic booms, or slipping LSD tablets into their chai teas.

Yes, it’s a bit hard to take a group named after seaweed broth seriously (a MISO operative sounds like a Japanese waiter), but maybe that’s exactly what they want you to think. PSYOPS only works because it is covert, like those little tofu cubes that hide just below the surface, so maybe this is just a way of inching towards our good graces.