Let’s not rush into this: Planned Parenthood Express

Some things should never be express. For example, haircuts, NASA launches and adoptions all seem to be things where rushing might be a bad idea.  I’m going to go out on a limb and say that Planned Parenthood belongs in this category too.

The group started opening ‘express’ locations in 2003. They describe them as places where “…clients who are short on time and do not require a table examination can quickly pick up their birth control medication or get contraceptive advice.” No problems there, but why on earth would they call it Planned Parenthood Express?

While they don’t do abortions at Express clinics, it doesn’t mean that people aren’t going to think about it. Sorry to state the obvious, but I think most people (regardless of their stance on the matter) would prefer to not think about the concept of an express abortion. As I write this, I’m increasingly happy that I haven’t eaten lunch yet.

The name Planned Parenthood Express has another big issue: as a phrase, it makes no sense. The words ‘planned’ and ‘express’ have very contradictory meanings. Does it mean that you have a plan and intend to act on it quickly? Maybe you have to make a plan quickly before your parents find out?

I know that plenty of people take an express route to parenthood, but this probably wasn’t what they were going for when they named the clinics. While making contraceptives available to people who wouldn’t be able to get them otherwise is a very valuable service, you have to exercise a little more caution when you’re modifying a name like Planned Parenthood.