Pedicures and PUNishment
There’s a scourge coursing through our nation’s beauty parlors. Like an infectious Jehri curl, the trend has spread its tackiness to the windows and neon signs of salons everywhere, trying to sell us cheap nail care with a cheeky attitude: Curl Up & Dye. Hairchitecture. Shear Hostility. Bangs For The Memories. Hand Job.
Yes, the bad pun has taken over our neighborhood salons … and it’s come for your sense of humor.
Now, not being a frequent guest of nail salons myself, I can’t speak to what would lure a pedicure-seeker to one place and not another. Quality? Familiarity? Proximity to your place of employment? But when you’re looking for a new establishment to patronize, wouldn’t you want something that sounds professional? Somewhere that conveys a little class?
In other words, who would ever want a manicure from a place called Hand Job?
As an amateur dabbler in punnetry, I can appreciate a good word twist that most others would write off as a bad joke. My breakfasts are always egg-celent and I cut dates off midway through because I like to halve a good time. But … Shear Hostility? Really? You went with a name that makes me think you’re angry while you jab scissors at my neck?
A name should not make people fear you or question your sanity. It should suggest something of your personality and the kind of experience you want to provide. So if your name is a cheap pun or a crude sex joke, that’s the kind of treatment they’re going to imagine getting from you.
Don’t get me wrong, funny names and puns are great. Like for a donut shop, or a candy store, or a place that cuts children’s hair. Because there you’re not selling a haircut — you’re selling a pleasant and fun atmosphere for your child, something that lightens the mood before a stranger straps them to a chair and holds sharp objects near their head.
I get it — Nails By Mary and Ultra Beauty Spas are a dime a dozen and you want to separate yourself from the perm herd. And a silly pun makes it sound like you don’t take yourself as seriously as those posh downtown salons that offer expensive rose baths and Russian placenta facials. However, call yourself Curl Up & Dye and all you’re going to end up doing is sacrificing a shot at legitimacy for the appearance of a funny bone. And as we all know, funny people never make any money.
In the end though, you can’t get a pedicure from a play on words. If people thought jokes could give them a decent haircut, they’d be asking comedians for makeovers. And have you SEEN what Carrot Top looks like lately?
