Helpful words

Tried and true brands

While standing in line at my local 7-11 store today, I saw an unexpected gum option: Bazooka Joe. I guess I knew they were still making the stuff, but I hadn’t seen it in years and I couldn’t believe how unchanged it was. The packaging, colors, even the dismally written comics were just where the…

A boy named Lucifer: Jermajesty, Violence and other adventures in baby naming

Of all the myriad concerns piled upon the brain of an expecting parent — Does the hospital accept pennies? Which end does the diaper go on? Can you get rabies from a used stroller? — perhaps none are as frustrating and potentially disastrous as giving the kid a name. Fortunately, babies aren’t allowed to name…

Does this Nutrient Density Index make me look fat?

Any recent trip into Whole Foods Market would have introduced you to the newest in food rating systems: The ANDI (Aggregate Nutrient Density Index) and its meat-minded sibling, the 5-Step Animal Welfare Rating. The basic premise of the ANDI system is this: Nutrients divided by calories = how good it is for you. And while…

Bye Bye Birdie: golf’s Bob Hope Classic is no more

For Bob Hope, golf was always a funny game.  The comedian himself once said that he could easily give it up … if only he didn’t have so many sweaters. Now, eight years after his death, Hope’s eponymous tournament is at last changing its wardrobe — the Bob Hope Golf Classic will now be known…

How to find a name you can grow into

In some Native American communities, a name is something that is developed, not given. Children come into life with their own innate set of skills and talents, and live without a name until the community has had a chance to see those proficiencies unfold. The individual’s name is chosen to reflect who that person is…

Parlez-Vous Facebook? Not anymore

Facebook and France just unfriended each other. The land of liberté has officially banned radio and television broadcasters from mentioning Facebook and Twitter on air, dooming newscasters to henceforth describe the popular social media sites in the most cliched way possible — as “popular social media sites.” So what does France have against les tweets?…

Mozzarella: This is a test

When I was a kid, we used to eat at this great Italian place where our favorite dish was the Four-cheese Pizza. The menu didn’t say which cheeses, and no one asked, we just trusted the good folks of Casa de Pasta to pick the four good ones. Times have changed, and to be sure,…

DirecTV shows you how to be your own scapegoat

So I was watching the NBA Finals at a bar last night because I refuse to pay Comcast for cable. I had a good seat, the Mavs were winning–all was well. That is, until the signal cut out in the middle of the 3rd quarter. What happens as soon as the signal cuts out? A…

Post symphonic viking core and the rise of the music micro-genre

I like me some metal. The trouble is, metal isn’t just metal anymore. And the more I look for new bands through which to nostalgically revisit my adolescent angst, the more I am reminded that liking music is just way harder than it used to be. There are too many names jockeying for my attention….

Winnipeg wins a hockey team. But do fans want the Jets back?

The Boston Bruins and Vancouver Canucks may be the ones battling it out for the Stanley Cup this week, but Winnipeg is stealing the spotlight. The city’s legions of hoser hockey fans are celebrating after the Atlanta Thrashers announced they will be headed for the Great White North. So what will they be called? From…