Helpful words

Turn Your Grin Upside-Down: How a Name Makes a Home

Houses with names may seem like a vacation home tradition. It brings to mind​ images of beach houses and country estates named Raspberry Hill or Waite and Sea. But across Oakland homes of the “alternative crowd,” young transients, hippies, punks, taggers, art and music folks, the heart and soul the Bay is known for, have…

Need to Name a: Tactical Bowie Knife Company?

At A Hundred Monkeys, we’re always hoping for ridiculous naming projects. Need to name a stable of Mongolian racehorses? We do that. Don’t know what to call your urban marijuana farm? We can help. Each week, we’re giving away free names. We’re nice like that. If you’re lucky enough to be in the tactical Bowie…

Need to Name a: Discount Fish Market?

Over here at A Hundred Monkeys we’ve been seriously underwhelmed with the number of ridiculous naming projects we’ve been invited to work on. Sure, we get the occasional sex toy startup or menopause-soothing necklace, but these are still weighed down by the anchors of reality. So starting today, we’re going to present a weekly round…

Eli Altman is speaking at the 2014 Brand New Conference

Join Eli at the 2014 Brand New Conference in Chicago. He’ll be speaking about the creative, practical and interpersonal realities of the naming process. The 2014 Brand New Conference will be held September 25-26. For tickets, speaker bios, and other information please visit: http://www.underconsideration.com/brandnewconference/ Harris Theater at Millennium Park 205 E Randolph Dr. Chicago, IL USA

brand attributes

Brand Attributes: Your Words Are Meaningless

In most pursuits, the fastest way between two points is a direct path. However, when dealing with people, this isn’t the case. For example, saying “Those glasses look really good on you” might be the fastest way to get out of the DMV. It will definitely work better than walking up to the counter and…

The Rise of the Blank and Blank

Opening a restaurant is risky: a quarter fail in their first year, and nearly two-thirds are gone by the third. The desire to minimize risk causes many restaurateurs to pick names that appear safe. They aren’t. Consider this list of Bay Area bars and restaurants, ordered by opening date: 2005: Squat & Gobble, Fish &…

Cicero is Holding You Back

One of the oldest things on your computer—and it’s definitely on your computer—is a garbled, 2100 year-old text written by Cicero: Lorem ipsum dolor sit , consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea…

What can you learn from Dumb Starbucks?

What can you learn about branding from a business consultant who advises a gas station owner to offer a giant rebate that can only be redeemed on a remote mountaintop? Actually quite a bit. Nathan Fielder, the star of Nathan for You on Comedy Central, recently opened Dumb Starbucks, a parody version of Starbucks in…

Learn “How Not to Name Your Startup” at General Assembly

Join Eli and he’ll give you the tools to create and evaluate brand names so you will never have to apologize for having a name that, like a bad tattoo, you will regret for the rest of your life. February 20, 2014 General Assembly San Francisco Sign up here

Stupidest Product of the Year (and it’s only January 3rd)

On the way into work this morning, I was listening to Marc Maron interview Artie Lange. One of the things I love about Maron is the way he hawks his sponsors like stamps.com and Adam and Eve in fine old time radio style. You’re rooting for him to pull it off but you know the only…

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