Naming and Branding in Downtown, South America

I’ve taken a year-long sabbatical from naming to pursue scholarly interests in Quito, Ecuador. Even though I’m here on non-naming related business, I can’t help myself from noticing the peculiar way in which things are named. I’d be remiss if I didn’t report on some initial findings.

And so, I welcome you to the world of Ecuadorian naming and branding—En el Botón—if you will. Company and product naming in this Andean nation of 13 million people follows a simple yet perplexing pattern. For a name here to be “cool,” the only requirement is that it be an English word.  The perplexing part is that the English words seem to be picked at random and fused in ways that make no sense, either grammatically or with relation to the product or company being named.

I’ve gathered some of my favorites to share.  Grab some popcorn, or chochos y tostado, and enjoy.

Groggy: Clothes inspired by the Nyquil hangover. The logo colors and maple leaf makes me think that they’re ready to blame the Canadians for this oddball name.

Mayflower Chinese Food:  The Pilgrims brought many things with them aboard the Mayflower to America. Chinese food was not one of them.

Pilsener: (Pronounced “peel-sey-ner”) The official beer of Ecuador. Ask for a cerveza in any bar and you’ll get a cold one of these.  The funny thing is that Pilsener is actually a light lager with a taste as uninspired as the name. (Think Natural Light.)  It’s hard to see in the picture, but one of the gold medals on the label commemorates Pilsener’s induction into the Ecuadorian Marketing Hall of Fame in 2005.  I’m assuming that a decent name isn’t a requirement for getting in.

Monkey Hippy: They must have used an automatic name generator for this one.  “Monkey Hippy” sounds too awkward to have come from a human. What do monkeys and hippies have to do with peanuts?

Funky Fish: I’m guessing Funky Fish comes from the same family as Monkey Hippy. One went into the nut business, the other the stuffed animal business. Makes perfect sense, right?

Snob: Purveyors of inexpensive condiments like this 90 cent bag of jelly, which makes the name choice that much more puzzling.  I find that Snob jelly goes great with Snooty peanut butter on toasted Smug bread.

Sunglass Hot: Valedictorian at the Knockoff School of Naming. Ray Bams and Maui Gins sold here.

Hunters: I hear that the waitresses at Hunters carry big fake plastic rifles with them at all times.

Menestras del Negro: A menestra is a local lentil dish served with rice and in the case of this chain, a side of racism.