Facebook ads: Print edition

Every day, at varying times with varying degrees of friendliness, someone in a blue uniform comes into our office to deliver a stack of papers, which we invariably put directly into the recycling bin. When I’m trying to forget how wasteful this whole system is, I pretend like I am feeding a hungry recycling bin — one that requires a daily dose of paper so that it does not acquire a taste for human flesh.

The other day, alongside the usual requests for donations and catalogs, was a piece of mail from Facebook. Let me be very clear: the only reason said Facebook mail escaped the recycling bin fate was because its very existence seemed to signal a shift in the space-time continuum. I mean, even Sears stopped producing their mail order catalog in 1993. Why on earth is an internet company sending me junk?

Facebook’s brand is rooted in online communication and their potential for profitability as a company is rooted in online advertising. Now that they’ve gone public, all eyes are on the bottom line. So, with questions swirling about ad revenue projections, someone pushed a panic button and direct mailers went out the door.

According to Facebook, if I buy into their “Start to Success” ad program, they will help me build long-lasting relationships, engage in a two-way conversation with customers, and use the power of word-of-mouth marketing. Sadly, the irony seems to be lost on Facebook, that they are doing none of these things by sending me mail.

Whose success are you trying to start, Facebook? Seems like your own.