Ameriie Has a Vowel Movement
by Jeffery Racheff
Rock ‘n’ roll takes no prisoners. Especially with those who have terrible names.
This is typically a lesson learned the hard way. The perfect band name you came up with over the course of a week-long drug and booze binge might not fare so well in the long-run. So what does an artist who’s made it big with a goofy name do when they realize just how goofy it is? Swap it for something more palatable and start all over, or stick with their trademark no matter how bitter it is? Here are a few pop stars with exactly that problem.
Meat Loaf — The Bat out of Hell singer, who people regularly refer to as just “Meat,” has wanted to change his tasty-sounding name since 1972. “It works because people remember it,” he said recently, “but it doesn’t work because people don’t take me seriously – it’s like a Barnum and Bailey clown name.” Unfortunately for the music icon (mostly in Europe), Rock ‘n’ Roll works best when it doesn’t make you think of mom’s home-cooked ground beef.
So what IS rock ‘n’ roll about The Loaf? He’s apparently cheated death on multiple occasions, including crashing and rolling his car, being hit in the head with a shot-put, surviving a knife attack at the hands of his father, and receiving a total of 17 concussions. So while his name may make him sound clownish, it’s merely like calling a giant “Tiny.” Who would’ve known someone named Meat Loaf could be such a bad-ass?
Ameriie — Folks familiar with the R&B star are doing a double take when they see her name now. The Grammy-nominated singer officially changed it from Amerie to “Ameriie,” adding an extra i in order to evoke “positive energy.” The Voweled One thinks her new name will better express her electric style. “I operate on vibes and intuition, and I believe everything is energy,” she says. “The vibration of the double I is right for me. Slightly different spelling, completely same pronunciation!”
Leonardo DiCaprio — No, he’s not exactly a rock-star, but actor Leonardo DiCaprio was asked by agents early in his career to change his unusual name. An agent once told him that he wouldn’t make it in show business because his name sounds “too ethnic.” So what was their suggestion for a new one? … Lenny Williams. Seriously.
On the one hand, I see their point — Leonardo DiCaprio kinda sounds like an Italian porn star. But on the other, having a name that isn’t Tom, Ben or Matt has to bring you an air of uniqueness, something that seems to be sorely lacking in Hollywood.
Cheryl Tweedy (Cole) — Leave it to Simon Cowell to force you to deal with changing your name. English singer and X-Factor host Cheryl Cole was introduced recently by Cowell as Cheryl Tweedy, her maiden name before marrying philandering soccer player Ashley Cole. Now that they’re divorced, the 27 year-old pop star has a dilemma on her hands. Should she stick with the Cole surname, for which she is more widely known, or revert to Tweedy and risk being forever confused with a little yellow cartoon bird?
